Often times in relationships, lovers go into puzzling circumstances and
difficulties that sometimes end them breaking-up or divorcing. These are
problems that threatens our relationships and they are killing us, but the
good news is that we can solve them. I presume that the reason why you’re
in a relationship with him or her is because you love something about that
person and if this love still exist, you’ll always learn tolerate.
In this article, I’ll not just tell you about these problems but I’ll also
tell you about how you can solve them.
HERE ARE THE MOST COMMON PROBLEMS LOVERS DO HAVE AND HOW TO SOLVE THEM
Problem #1: TRUST.
Trust is my number one problem on the list because it plays a vital role
in every relationship. As a partner, if you see your lover going contrary
to some certain promises made by him/her, from that moment the trust you
had for them depreciates with little percent and this will become a
problem if not resolved maturely.
— Always try to be consistent.
— Try being on time.
— Do what you say you will do.
— Don’t lie — not even little white lies to your partner or to others.
— Be fair, even in an argument.
— Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can still disagree, but don’t
discount how your partner is feeling.
— Call when you say you will.
— Call to say you’ll be home late.
— Don’t over-react when things go wrong.
— Never say things you can’t take back.
— Don’t dig up old wounds.
— Respect your partner’s boundaries.
— Don’t be jealous.
— Be a good listener.
Problem #2: COMMUNICATION
So many relationship problems are as a result of poor communication. “You
can’t communicate while you’re checking your phone, browsing, chatting or
watching TV.” It becomes a problem when your partner is serious and you’re
doing something else OR you speak outrageously to your partner.
— If you can’t “communicate” without raising your voices, go to a public
spot like the library, park, or restaurant where you’d be embarrassed if
anyone saw you screaming.
— Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until your partner is through
speaking, or ban phrases such as “You always …”, “You caused …” or “You
— Use body language to show you’re listening. Don’t doodle, look at your
watch, or pick at your nails. Nod so the other person knows you’re getting
the message, and rephrase if you need to.
— Stop doing things that will interrupt your communication. Learn to be
polite with your words and also learn good communication skills.
Problem #3: SEX
Yes, Sex! There are some partners that face this problem often. The
problem is that; while sex brings us closer together, releases hormones
that help our bodies both physically and mentally, and keeps the chemistry
of a healthy couple healthy, some partners take it as an addiction and
others don’t like giving in their mind for it and this troubles your
partner in one way or the other, and it’s affecting your relationship.
Another point is that sometimes one partner won’t be interested that
moment while the other is dying for it. It becomes a problem.
— Understand yourselves
— Plan special moments, but not necessarily at night when everyone is tired.
— When sex is on the calendar, it increases your anticipation.
— Changing things up a bit can make sex more fun too, in the case of one
partner not being interested at a particular moment. Why not lure him/her
to have sex in the kitchen? Or other funny area? Fun!
— Learn what truly turns you and your partner on by each of you coming up
with a personal “Sexy List,”. Swap the lists and use them to create more
scenarios that turn you both on.
— If your sexual relationship problems can’t be resolved on your own, I
recommend consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address
and resolve your issues.
Problem #4: MONEY
Hmmm, relationship and money. Money is actually a problem in many
relationships and homes. It’s either the both partners don’t have enough
money to take care of their needs or one partner is denying the other
partner money and this is not really cool.
— Be honest about your current financial situation.
— Don’t approach the subject in the heat of battle. Instead, set aside a
time that is convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
— Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver and one a spender,
understand there are benefits to both, and agree to learn from each
— Don’t hide income or debt. Bring financial documents, including a recent
credit report, pay stubs, bank statements, insurance policies, debts, and
investments to the table.
— Don’t blame.
– Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
— Decide which person will be responsible for paying the monthly bills.
— Allow each person to have independence by setting aside money to be
spent at his or her discretion.
Problem #5: CONFLICT
Quarrels and disagreement are normal things that happen in a relationship
between both partners. It’s just a part of life. It’s true that if you
don’t disagree you won’t agree, and that’s where the conflict comes. Come
on, you’ve grown, it’s time you learn how to tolerate.
— You and your partner should learn to argue in a more civil, helpful manner.
— Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice whether you react and
how you react.
— Be honest with yourself. When you’re in the midst of an argument, are
your comments geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you looking for
payback? If your comments are blaming and hurtful, it’s best to take a
deep breath and change your strategy.
— Change it up. If you continue to respond in the way that’s brought you
pain and unhappiness in the past, you can’t expect a different result this
time. Just one little shift can make a big difference. If you usually jump
right in to defend yourself before your partner finished speaking, hold
off for a few moments. You’ll be surprised at how such a small shift in
tempo can change the whole tone of an argument.
— Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you’re wrong. Sure it’s tough,
but just try it and watch something wonderful happen.
Problem #6: NOT MAKING YOUR RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY
It’s actually a problem because some partners failed to understand
relationship ethics before going in. When lovers don’t take things about
their relationship for granted, it shows they respect their affair. No
matter the circumstance or condition you find yourself in a relationship,
always make sure you respect your affair.
— If you both are married, do the things you used to do when you were
first dating: Show appreciation, compliment each other, contact each other
through the day, and show interest in each other.
— Plan date nights. Schedule time together on the calendar just as you
would any other important event in your life.
— Respect one another. Say “thank you,” and “I appreciate…” It lets your
partner know that they matter.
Thank you for going through all that, I believe you learned something. Use
tips to solve the problems you’ve been having.
Written by Pius Princewill Oghenerabome for Hub201.com
Thanks to WebMD for the tips
#Hub201 “Strictly Original, Undiluted”